Piss off! I don't want water!

The Ice Scam: Robbing the nation of millions of litres worth of pepsi every day.

You walk into an eatery such as a restaurant or even a cinema, you look around. You feel something growing inside you like a sandstorm. It builds and saps the moisture from your tongue and your cheeks. Then it attacks your throat, clawing like an tiny Freddy Kruger at your poor wretched insides. You're thirsty. Reeling madly from this fatal craving welling up inside you, you stumble to the nearest vendor. You choke on the words as you beg for some sort of beverage. You receive your drink and fumble with the cash. When suddenly you realise that most of what is in this cup is ice. Just frozen fudging water! What in God's name is going on? You suck on it and your suspicions are confirmed. It's just water with coke added. What kind of disgusting hell on earth is this?

And then what? You wake up screaming. I'm afraid not. Because this is reality. Thousands of people every minute are forced to pay for more drinks because 50% of their cup's contents are ice. They slurp for mere seconds before their drinks are gone, and theres nothing but some lumps of stupid water filling the glass. Who ordered water? Not me? I ordered coke. COKE!

C
O
K
E!

Coca Cola? You know it? The brown stuff that makes babies go hyper? The stuff people get before they can drink beer and chardonnay? And you bring me some scabby frozen water with some light coke flavouring dribbled round the edge? Well I've got two words for you, you worthless shithouses:

No Ice

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Not so smart now are you?

They get away with it purely because no one suspects it. When you walk into a bar and ask for a coke you don't expect to be assaulted by some disappointing scam. You expect a coke. Diet, zero, pepsi etc. It's all the same. And wherever you go you get glass after glass of cold water. With added coke.

So rise up against them my friends/readers. Become immune to this moist, see through scam. Next time you order a coke, you walk right up to the serving man/woman. You look them straight in their flickering, shifty eyes and you say:

"One coke. No ice."

And then you watch them scan the room for their manager, lean in close, put their shameful grubby mit on your shoulder and speak softly into your ear:

"Ok, buddy just this once. But you don't know what you're getting mixed up in."

Then you watch them pour that glorious accurate amount of lukewarm coke. Pick it up, pay for it, and then saunter off, ignoring the death stares from the staff and chinese bodyguard.

Together, we will break the ice.