LOL OMG!!! WTH?

Abbreviation. What is the point? Speed obviously is the point. In fact it's a stupid question. We all want to be able to spew out as many turd-laced sentences and mediocre opinions as possible before we keel over in the dust. And if this means neglecting a few of the longer words or letters that might have made you sound smarter or slightly less frugal, then who cares? Are you going to risk even one second of your life going to waste by just standing there saying stuff you don't need to say? Or, say, sitting around reading meaningless crap on the internet?

Damn skippy! Because in fact we are all time wasters. Hardly an eighth of a percent of what we do is to is done to increase our lifespan or attempt to find inner peace before the Big Drop. Most of what we do is to fill this huge, yawning chasm which has opened up before us. To stop us from realizing that this is life. And we are all going to die.

So yeah, sit in front of your stupid television. Close your eyes because you think you need sleep. Blow another eight hours in the dark, just thinking and breathing. There's no scientific proof you need sleep, probably. Why should you sleep? Why can't you spend all night sitting on the floor watching old dvds and crying? Better than wasting your stupid time on sleep. Imagine if maybe, instead of just lying there, mouth agape, eyes clamped shut, dreaming all the trippy stuff, you used all that imagination to, say, write a novel, or do a musical score, or write a blog, yeah? Write a blog so that the world can hear about all the whacked out perverted mindscapes you've been on. Like the ten-foot high jelly bean that stalked your mother and then destroyed your relationship with your pen pal by inventing the email ten years early. Then breaking wind whilst sitting on the clothes you'd laid out for tomorrow.

But then of course you'll become like all the rest. They'll criticise your judgement. They'll molest your opinion. They'll rape your ideas, you'll be running in cirlces through the blogosphere desperately clawing to some semblance of reason, but then...what is reason? And so you converge with all the screaming babbling apes that roam the internet. And people will call you what they called all the others. A f***ing looney.

So what was my rant about this week? How did this make you feel? Why don't you create a blog about your particular complaint/praise/mediocre point of view and then spread it nationwide like SARS or an STI? If that last question offended you, why don't you write a stern letter to the editor? You may not have read the question, but perhaps you've heard about it and become enraged/disgusted/amused/incomprehensible with rage. If that last option sounded like you, go to the blogger website, click on the create blog link, and then mash your fists against the keyboard until either the skin breaks or you fall asleep in your whipped up fury of destruction/masturbation/silent crying.